Q. I cannot decide whether to keep my helper or take my two-year-old to day care. I am very busy and need someone to help in the house, but I think my child is not being guided enough. What should I do?

A. Mother, you need to make more time for your child. No matter how busy you are, your child is more important. There are day-care programmes that may provide the stimulation that you think your child needs. However, if you choose a day care, make sure it is registered. You can also teach your helper activities that will help your child to learn. Whatever you do, remember that you and your child's father are the most important persons in your child's life and you should not depend on others to guide your child.

Q. My son is at a good high school and did well at the Grade Six Achievement Test. However, he is not doing well in school this term. He is very busy with sports and I think the physical education (PE) teacher is not encouraging him in his schoolwork. What should I do?

A. Have a talk with your son about your concerns and sit with him and plan, possibly by using a timetable, how he can participate in sports as well as do well in his academic work.

You may need to have a meeting with the PE teacher and share your concerns. You also need to meet with his classroom teacher to find out how he is doing, generally, in school. Ensure that you are calm and willing to listen when you go to these meetings.

Q. I find that I am constantly arguing with my teenage children. They are 17, 15 and 14. The arguments are mostly about finishing household tasks. If you were to meet them, you would think they are darlings. They are very nice to strangers but lazy at home. We live in a family setting and grandma and grandpa cover for them. Help me.

A. Sit with your children and make decisions with them as to what will happen if they do not complete the duties they are given. They are old enough to understand and to cope with the results of not doing what you tell them to do. Do not shout at them and avoid confronting them, as this will only send up your blood pressure. Stick to the rules you make and this will teach them to be responsible. Ask all other adults who live in the home to help. Remind grandma and grandpa that the children will not be responsible and respectful individuals if they are not taught to complete tasks properly and in a timely manner.

Dr Orlean Brown-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Dr Brown-Earle works with children with learning and behaviour problems throughout the island and in the Caribbean. Email questions to helpline@gleanerjm.com or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.