THE EDITOR, Sir:
I attach the following letter to the West Cricket Board:
The Chairman of Selectors,
West Indies Cricket Board
Dear Sir:
I WRITE to apply for a place on the West Indies cricket team, and in support of my application I set out below my qualifications:
I can neither bat nor bowl, and I have little or no discipline, in fact I have difficulty in applying myself to anything.
I can party all night and drink most people under the table.
When I drink and party I am usually hung over well into the following afternoon, and as a consequence I play especially badly in the first session of the day.
I have no loyalty to my team, country or to the West Indies, and if selected, will promise to be arrogant and egotistical, showing no concern for the paying fans either in the West Indies or elsewhere;
I promise that if selected, I will use my earnings (which I understand to be in foreign exchange) to purchase a flashy motor car and lead the life of a sports star as is expected of me;
If selected, I pledge myself to do my all to assist the team in its record breaking performances, especially to reach the hitherto unattained goal of the team being all out for forty runs or less.
Finally, I understand that I may have to work on the week-ends and public holidays, but that in consideration for this, I will be subjected to no supervision from either coach or manager, and that regardless of my performance I will be retained on the team for the series, injury or death excepted.
I look forward to your early reply.
I am, etc.,
CARL DOWDING
33 Duke Street
Kingston
