Dear Counsellor:

I was in the vicinity of a shooting and saw the murdered victim. Since then, I have been unable to sleep. I avoid the area and I am fearful and worried. What can be done to help me?

- Sarah

Dear Sarah:

We are all traumatised by the frequent shootings and motor-vehicle accidents. You are not alone.

Many people have developed post-traumatic stress disorder and I think this is what you have. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a medical condition in which the individual shows avoidance behaviour, emotional upset and insomnia. Some people develop this condition by witnessing the event or by hearing about the event.

You need to receive medication and therapy, so please see a psychiatrist for treatment. Both children and adults can develop PTSD. Post-traumatic stress was originally seen in soldiers returning from war, but these days ordinary citizens are developing the condition.

Angry, hostile about events in my past

Dear Counsellor:

I have been reflecting on my childhood and some of the memories are unpleasant. I recalled being bullied by a male student when I was in primary school. I was afraid of him and usually tried to avoid him but he would seek me out and harass me. He would sometimes punch me and tease me bitterly. When I remember the trauma I suffered, I become angry and hostile.

- Joan

Dear Joan,

Bullying is still as prevalent today as it was in the past. Many individuals develop poor self-esteem, depression, and even psychosis because of bullying in childhood. You will need counselling to help you deal with your feelings. There are many past abuses that resurface as unpleasant memories in adulthood and these issues have to be dealt with again.

Studies on bullying are on the increase and research shows that the effects can be traumatic. Speak with your therapist or pastor about forgiveness. You need to forgive the individual and work on your feelings. You may be filled with anger, resentment, hostility and bitterness but you need to let these feelings go because they will poison your relationship with others. When you are able to release these feelings in therapy, you will begin to heal from past abuse.

Bullies don't realise that their victims suffer a great deal and can develop severe mental-health problems. Teachers need to police the playground and intervene in fights and bullying behaviours. Children need to be closely supervised as they can be truly cruel to each other. The bystanders need to discourage the bullies from carrying out their actions.

For advice on personal or family problems, email questions to Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call her at 978-8602 or 920-9683.