A marriage without sex is like J.Lo without her ass-ets: It's just not as FULL-filling.

Some lovers who are either upset with their partners or believe they are cheating say they can't give in to the urge, even if it means starving themselves.

Kenesha White has been in a relationship for almost two years. When she's angry with her partner, he dare not touch her because of the residual feelings of resentment.

punishment

White says sex is too intimate an act to allow her lover to "do as he pleases when I don't want it". She agrees that not satisfying him sexually is a way of punishing him for his actions.

While White concedes that this could cause her lover to stray, she says it would be wrong for her to have sex with him when disputes linger, as he would be the only beneficiary.

Nicole Reidis on the verge of leaving her man. She reveals that she hasn't had sex with him in months because she is "just not feeling him anymore".

She tells Saturday Life she doesn't care that she is starving him; his infidelity has made matters worse.

Sex is an emotional act, she says, and even if she tries, she just can't get in the mood.

John Southsays if he is upset with his partner, he can't make love to her. He debunks the myth that sex is always a mere physical act for men which they can't refuse. Furthermore, he says when his partner withholds sex from him, he doesn't reach out to her until she wants it again.

Counsellor, Dr Grace Kelly, says some individuals withhold sex simply to spite their partner.

She also notes that some individuals refuse to give in because of unfaithfulness. On the other hand, some lovers lose the desire for their partner and refuse to have sex because they genuinely can't respond as the physical and emotional attraction has waned.

mental act

Sexual intercourse, Kelly says, is more of a mental than a physical act, especially for women. According to Kelly, refusal to yield sex could lead to infidelity in the relationship.

The therapist says misleading media images of fantastic 'sexcapades' sometimes make persons feel incompetent if he/she is not measuring up to those portrayals. This could lower self-esteem, causing a spouse to withhold sex, Kelly argues.