Years after abortion,many women stillgrapple with grief

Though Rose Thompson, 42, no longer cries, she believes abortion has robbed her of emotional capital.

Thompson, who has had more than two abortions - the first when she was 19 - said she is not as affectionate with persons as she would like to be.

Decades later, she still lives with the legacy of grief and loss which haunt her, the most hurtful being the fact that she can't have children.

"I am very angry with the system because it is susceptible to abortions ... . Society does not get you ready for the later years," she explained. "I don't think I will ever get over it. I am happier now, (but) if I could live my life all over again, I wouldn't have done it."

Thomas was one of several women who attended a post-abortion healing and recovery retreat under the aegis of Rachel's Vineyard, a Catholic Church-affiliated group which helps counsel persons who have had abortions.

The Rachel's Vineyard weekend retreat, which was held July 11-13, aimed to assist women bring closure to their grief.

bible-based therapy

Although illegal, scores of abortions are done in Jamaica every year. Opinion on abortion is divided, with fierce debate among church groups with a moral imperative and opponents who believe it is the woman's right to choose.

The Rachel's Vineyard post-abortion ministry, which uses prayer and other biblical strategies to rebuild self-esteem, helps women understand and cope with its effects.

Stephanie Christian, coordinator of Rachel's Vineyard, said, "The environment is caring ... and the counsellors are experienced.

"Many people may be critics but they do not know the pain. The pain is real and needs to be dealt with," Christian said.

Christian says abortion goes against a doctor's raison d'être - to save lives.

Elizabeth Parkington, 58, who convinced her daughter to have an abortion years ago, has regrets.

Parkington's daughter was still in school and she thought it best not to interrupt her child's studies.

However, the abortion, which was done legally in Europe, has left emotional scars on both Parkington and her daughter.

horrible grief

"My granddaughter would be 21 years old now; the grief was horrible, it almost broke up the family and my daughter and me," Parkington laments.

Her daughter, who is now married, is unable to have a child. Questions linger in the minds of mom and daughter about whether the abortion led to her current infertility.

Both Thompson and Parkington credit Rachel's Vineyard as a "memorial service" which helps women process hurt.

Parkington believes abortion is largely a profit-generating venture, adding that insufficient instruction is given to many women who decide to terminate.

Ann Arthur, another coordinator of Rachel's Vineyard, agrees.

"Most of the abortions done today are by medical practitioners. It is a moneymaking business which does not allow mothers to know what the future holds or the choices they have," she argues.

Arthur said countries which have legalised abortion have seen a marked increase in terminations of pregnancy.

She urges women to bring their baby to term and seek assistance from charities or aid groups.

Christian said Rachel's Vineyard hopes to establish a strong lobby to vigorously counter the rhetoric of pro-abortion groups.

The agency hopes to put greater emphasis on crisis pregnancies and provide more avenues for counselling, and turn the tide of women wanting to have abortions.

Real name withheld

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