Latoya Grindley, Features Writer

A new year is drawing near and for many it will mark the beginning of a new life without loved ones who lost their lives at the hands of criminals this year. While death is inevitable, gruesome murders are usually the hardest to get over. Murders have no doubt resulted in many broken families and parentless children with some not even being of age to fully understand the actualities, robbing them of spending quality time and creating fond memories with their parents.

June 26, 2006 will be forever etched in the mind of 13-year-old Marissa Edwardswho was the first to see her father's body after he was fatally shot by gunmen. He was murdered at a shop as he purchased a phone card. Trying hard to forget the ever-recurrent image of her father lying lifeless, the second form student of St. Hugh's High School says Christmas is one the hardest periods for her. Last year, she celebrated her first Christmas without his physical presence and had to endure another recently.

While it has been over a year since the murder, it is still over-whelming for Marissa as well as her mother and two siblings. The very first year they celebrated Christmas without him was easily the worst for the family.

Different atmosphere

As is customary each year, they celebrated with family at an annual reunion. "It was very hard to deal with, I mean everybody was there except my father which was the only time he missed it. And the atmosphere was so different because not only were my sisters and Mom feeling it, but also the rest of family was still in mourning. At one point my mother became so overwhelmed that she started to cry again which sort of dampened everybody's feelings".

The difficulties experienced by Marissa to come to terms with her father's death is no greater than that of her two sisters and mother, but for the youngest of all having been exposed to such violence at her age was a rude awakening for her. " I was 11 at the time and I just didn't even consider or imagine that this would have happened to me and to anyone in my family."

It was her father's dream to watch her transition to high school, but that didn't materialise as he didn't live to hear the news that his daughter had passed for a school which he had helped to select. He died a few days before the results were released. "Among all the other schools he wanted me to go to, he had a special liking for St. Hugh's, because he worked nearby. And, because of this, he said it would be easier for him to take me to school". Today, she attends the school, but not having the privilege of her father transporting her, instead her sister has taken up that responsibility.

Each day is another attempt at adjusting to the absence of their father and husband. While doing better since it happened, it is something that will never be forgotten. Still, there are more questions than answers as to why their loved one was killed, but finding out or bringing those involved to justice seems very far-fetched as the police, according to the family, is yet to make a break-through.

Rough start

Marissa, despite the obstacles and the rough start at the beginning of a new phase in her life, pats herself on the back for maintaining good grades. According to her, if her father were alive, he would have wanted her to make him proud. "My mother and my father always pushed me to do well. My Dad would buy me all that I needed for school to ensure I didn't fall behind and in the evenings, before and even after I took GSAT, we would sit in the couch and he would help me solve math problems and when I had questions I would ask him."

An aspiring teacher, she says when she sees the reports of murders on television and the reactions of people, she can relate. "I really feel it for them because I didn't expect it to happen to me and when I see people crying and behaving a certain way, I can really understand how they feel".

She has admitted that her father's death has opened her eyes to many things and that she is not alone in all of this. "I know other people, my age who have lost a parent by the gun so it's not a one out of ten situation, it's something that is affecting a lot of people, even children now."

So far in this year, more than 1,500 people have been murdered.

Name changed upon request

latoya.grindley@gleanerjm.com