Angela Philipps, Contributor

Why are we caught up in the search for a boyfriend or girlfriend? Why aren't we just as happy to be on our own? Surely, the be-all and end-all of life is not to get hooked in a relationship? But the truth is that most of us who are single are in fact searching for someone to share our time with. Is this an innate need, or are we under the social and cultural pressures which life has presented to us?

I remember a year ago when I was doing my weekly shopping in the supermarket, I bumped into the mother of a friend of mine. She asked me how old I was, and on hearing that I was in my 30s, she exclaimed horrifically, "You're not married! You're leaving it a little late aren't you?!"

I could not believe my ears. How dare she say that! First of all, assume that I even wished to be wed, and second, telling me off for not being so. The nerve! And what if I had really wanted to find myself a husband, she acted as if it was my fault I hadn't. A little late my %#$!!!!

You know, I've heard stories from people who complain about family reunions. They say that there's always some aunt asking them why they haven't got a man/woman, or when are they getting married. As if it's as easy as going to the pharmacy to buy a toothbrush. I'm here to tell you that finding the 'one' for some people is about as easy as mastering the tango. It might seem like a simple dance, but when you get up there to actually do it, you'd be surprised at how hard it is.

Looking for a man

Have you read the book Bridget Jones' Diary, or seen the movie? Well, Bridget gets the 'Poor you, you're single' rooting, and throughout the story you find yourself rooting for her to get hitched. Why? Why do we feel sorry for her? So what if she doesn't work things out with Darcy or the other guy. She has a good job, an apartment to live in, and a bunch of nice friends.

What about Sex and the City? All four girls have men in their lives constantly. Ok, so their motivations are a bit different to each other's, but they still don't like being alone. And actually, by the end of the entire series, they have all fallen in love and into stable relationships. It turns out that throughout the six seasons they were all looking for a man. See, even the writers of this show were implying that it's not the perfect situation to be single. Again I ask you, why?

The good life

I have friends who have been single for over 10 years and who seem to be very happy. I'm not saying that they haven't had a few secret flings here and there. After all, they're human.

However, they have not had anyone remotely serious. They wake up in the morning, take as long to shower as they want to without having to worry about 'saving' hot water for another person, drink their coffee in peace, and eat breakfast anywhere they please.

They go to work, and if on the way home they suddenly decide to meet someone for a drink rather than have dinner back at the house, they don't have to call anyone to check if that's ok. They can come in as late as they want, leave the dirty dishes for 'tomorrow', have control over the TV remote, or go to bed really early with a good novel. There's no one to comply with.

Sounds to me like there's nothing wrong with being single at all!

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com