Keisha Shakespeare-Blackmore, Staff Repeater
Losing a loved one is often the most difficult experiences we face in life. Often, the hurt we feel is so painful, continuing with our lives seems impossible.
Clinical psychiatrist, Dr. Asquith Reid, said that coping after losing a loved one depends on two things, the relationship and the closeness or significance of the relationship you had with the person you lost.
He said if it is your father or mother, spouse, or a close sibling, then the loss would be even more painful.
People always see their parents living for a very long time, they do not plan for their demise. Also, if you lose a sibling with whom you were close, all the cherished moments will be replayed and the sense of loss is greater. He added that when lose your partner, all the plans, dreams, hopes seem to have been taken a way in a moment. Even if you had grown old together, continuing life would seem hard. However, there are several ways to cope with the loss.
Friends
Let people who care about you take care of you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. Especially when you live away from family, true friends can offer shoulders for you to cry on until you begin to recover.
Family
The death of a relative can create a path for reunion, and even reconciliation, among surviving relatives. Sharing your loss can make the burden of grief easier to carry. Reminiscing about the person lost may help everyone recover.
Community
If you follow a religious tradition, embrace the comfort its mourning rituals can provide. Allow people within your religious community to give you emotional support. If you are estranged from your faith community or have none, this may be a good time to reconnect.
Support group
There are many support groups for people who are grieving.
Therapist
Talking with a psychotherapist or grief counsellor may be a good idea if the intensity of your grief does not diminish over time - that is, months go by and you still have physical symptoms, such as trouble eating or sleeping; or your emotional state impairs your ability to go about your daily routine.
Helping yourself cope with grief and loss
Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. You can keep a diary about your loved one or a scrapbook or make a album as an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. Take care of yourself physicallyGet enough sleep, eat sensibly, and engage in regular exercise. Do not use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially.
Don't let other people tell you how to feel Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it is time to 'move on' or 'get over it.' At the same time, it is okay to be angry at the person who died, to cry everyday if you need to, to yell to the heavens without being embarrassed. Conversely, it's okay to laugh, too.
Plan aheadAnniversaries, holidays and milestones in life can be particularly challenging. Be prepared for an emotional see-saw and know that is completely normal. If you are sharing a holiday or special event with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their expectations and agree on strategies to honour the person you loved.
Additional source: www. helpguide.org
