Angela Philipps, Contributor

Honey bun, you are no different from the rest of them. If a man tells you that he is seeing other people, or wants to have an 'open relationship', then that is exactly what he means. You are not the only one with whom he is cavorting, and he does not think you are special enough.

I, on the other hand, believe that all of us ladies are exceptional and so none of us have to settle for a guy like this.

I've heard those words before and I most certainly didn't believe for one second that things would be different with me. I decided to play it so cool and, in the meantime, I made sure that I knew exactly what was going on when I was around. I knew this would be a short-lived romance and I was quite prepared for it to end at any time. The truth is I got the last laugh because he was not as open and honest as he claimed to be, and I knew every time he'd been up to badness. I just chose not to say anything because this is what I had signed up for and I wanted to prove that women can deal with a relationship like this for a finite period of time.

There was something deeply satisfying about letting the man think he'd pulled the wool over my eyes, and I guess the only reason why I could handle it is because I was never in love with him. I suppose it was a game he thought he was winning. What he didn't realise is that I knew the rules full well.

Your will

I am quite certain that some of you would insist that a man can change when it comes to his fidelity. However, do not be so sure of yourself. Remember whatever your will is, it is not that of the bloke's. You could treat him like a lord, have much in common with him, and experience the best intimacy possible, but that does not stop a cheater! And if he's told you that he can't commit to an exclusive relationship with you, then trust him he can't!

A friend of mine (let's call her 'Y') is having an affair with a married man, and has been for the past 15 years. The thing is, he lives on the opposite side of the world to where she is (literally). He claims to love 'Y' but he also refuses to leave his wife. In a way he is telling 'Y' that he can't be true to her, and yet she continues to disillusion herself that he is the one and that they are madly in love with each other. I have told her time after time that she is wasting her life.

He's said that he won't destroy his family unit for her, so why hasn't it sunk into her thick skull? And this lovely lady is smart you know. In her 40s, very accomplished in her career, and one of the most social butterflies you could ever meet. She could have practically any single man on the circuit, yet very few will get even a glance in their direction.

Why is it that women can be so stupid when it comes to affairs of the heart? Well, I've been thinking about it for some time. First, we ought to be a little more cautious at the beginning of a romance, keeping our ears and eyes open. If the behaviour of a man at present (and let's face it he's being completely honest about his capabilities) will not please us in the future then we shouldn't even give him another moment's notice. This is when walking away is imperative.

There is one truth ladies, if he says he can't be faithful, then believe him!

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com