We continue to present the tools that Peace and Love in Society has used to help dozens of people, including policemen and women, to resolve conflict and manage anger.

Response Leads to Result

If our response has been negative, the result will be continued hurt feelings or frustration or some other negative emotions.

Further, having experienced conflict in this way will reinforce that conflict is negative.

And so, we get back to the beginning of the cycle.

For most of us, the outcome of conflict is usually negative, reinforcing our belief system and leading to perpetuating the behaviour.

Breaking the Cycle

1. If we want to change our patterns, we first need to be aware of our patterns and our beliefs and responses that perpetuate negative behaviour.

2. We need to be willing to change the patterns. We have to make a personal commitment to change. We have to change our belief systems and experiment with new and positive approaches.

3. We have to acquire some skills.

The Conflict Cycle

Beliefs and attitudes about conflict

Conflict is dangerous; No value in talking about things/conflicts are inevitable; an opportunity for growth and change

Result:

Fear, frustration, jealousy, rejection, hostility, hate, stress/resolution, relief, empathy, compassion

Conflict occurs:

Interpretation filtered through past experience, expectations, values, needs, culture

Response:

Cry, sulk, withdraw; talk, about it, situation viewed as opportunity/challenge or obstacle/threat