Q Doctor, I wonder if you could help me with the new relationship I have just formed with a beautiful woman?

I am a divorced guy of 46, and I suppose I must have slept with dozens of women in my lifetime. Mostly, they have been ladies of about my own age. I have never had any problems with sex - until now.

Doc, the fact is that three months ago I fell heavily in love with this wonderful lady who is around 35. I get on real well with her, and we really enjoy each other's company. We had only been seeing each other for a few days when I proposed - and she immediately accepted.

She has never been married and has no children so, fortunately, there were no obstacles in the way of us getting engaged. We plan to wed some time next year. And my four grown-up children are in favour of the 'match'.

But when we went to bed together for the first time, a strange problem arose. I had no difficulty with my potency, so I am not losing my nature, or anything like that.

In fact, I could enter her OK. But I simply could not get very far in. Trying to do so caused me some pain, and eventually I had to withdraw. I was quite sore afterwards.

She was real puzzled by this, because she is a sexy lady and was eager to enjoy full intercourse. Fortunately, I was able to satisfy her by petting.

Sadly, next time we went to bed I ran into the same problem. I could get part of the way in, but not fully. It is not that I am excessively big, doc, because I think that I am about average.

My fiancée has been very good about this, and has said to me that everything will eventually be OK. But I am wondering if something is wrong.

Could it be that she is 'small made?' That does not make a lot of sense, because I know she was happy in her previous sexual relationship, which was with a guy who died last year. Or is it to do with the difference in our age?

A Well, a difference in age cannot cause this kind of problem. And, in any case, you are only around 11 years older than her.

You seem to be saying that your erection is good. So why can't you get in? It is just possible that the lady has some form of 'blockage'. But that is real unlikely, in view of the fact that you say her sex life was perfectly all right in her most recent relationship.

It could be that she is suffering from the form of 'muscle contract' which is known as 'vaginismus'. This happens in some women who are unhappy or fearful about sex. The condition makes the vaginal muscles close down, so that a guy cannot easily get in.

However, that particular diagnosis does NOT strike me as very probable, because you say that she is happy with sex and eager to enjoy intercourse with you.

So my guess is that what is going on is this. For years now, you have been used to having sex with ladies who are about your own age, and who - I would imagine - have mostly had children. Indeed, your ex-wife gave birth to four children.

Now, there is no question that childbirth widens the vagina - especially if it is repeated childbirth. In general, that does not matter very much - and to be frank, it makes it easier for the guy to get in.

However, your fiancée is quite different from your ex-wife, because she has had NO children. This means that her vagina is likely to be somewhat narrower than you are used to.

I have seen a number of cases like this. Typically, a guy goes to bed with a woman who has had no children, and is puzzled because he finds difficulty in penetrating her fully. Fortunately, in all these instances everything has eventually worked out fine.

What I think you and your lady friend should do now is this. She should have a brief check-up from a doctor, just to make sure that everything is OK with her internally, and that there is really no obstruction in the vagina.

After that has been done, you must do two things:

1. Make sure that you give her plenty 'foreplay' - so that before you attempt to enter, she is really relaxed and well-lubricated.

2. Use lots of a pleasant 'sex lubricant' - you can buy this from pharmacies, or online.

If you do as I have suggested, I have no doubt that before very long you will be able to penetrate her fully. And you should both be able to enjoy a great sex life together.

My very best wishes for your marriage, and for your future happiness.

QI am 39, and have regular menses. Would it still be possible for me to have a baby, doc?

AYes, if your periods are regular there is a good chance you can conceive. However, time is running a little short, so why not buy yourself an 'ovulation kit?'

This would enable you to determine exactly which night would be best to have sex.

QI am a guy in my late 20s, and I am still a virgin. However, I have decided to change all that and have sex for the first time.

But when I go to bed with a woman, will she be able to tell that I am virginal?

ANo - unless you reveal it by your behaviour. But why not just tell her? A lot of ladies actually like the idea of being the first to 'initiate' a man.

QI have been smoking for 25 years, since the age of 18. Am I right in thinking that there is no point in giving up now?

ANo, you are wrong. Even after 25 years of smoking, there are still health benefits to be gained by stopping. Indeed, you might even prevent yourself from getting lung cancer.

QI am 51, and it sounds like I might have to have my prostate gland taken out surgically.

Will this affect my sex life?

A I am afraid that it almost certainly will. Most guys who have the entire prostate gland removed will 'lose their nature'.

Please talk this over with the surgeon, and ask him if there is any kind of 'milder' operation he could do on you. But if you do lose your ability to get erections, then there is a good chance that drugs like Viagra could help you.

Q At the age of 33, I have started getting deep pain inside me whenever my partner and I have intercourse. A doctor has diagnosed that I have 'endometriosis'.

Will this kill me, doc?

ANo, it certainly won't. And it is treatable. I shall return to the subject of endometriosis next week. Meantime, if you look it up on Wikipedia you will find a lot of reassuring information.

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