WHILE MANY younger Jamaican women are eagerly making and breaking marriage vows, there are others, often older, who have decided that marriage is something to be avoided.

Their reasons are numerous, including an unwillingness to be exploited, the ability to meet their needs, a lack of trust in the motives of men, and what they say are the "unreasonable and antiquated" expectations that men sometimes have of women.

Heartache

"I don't trust men," a 44-year-old senior manager tells The Sunday Gleaner. "I don't have any evidence that they are able to respond to my need for sensitivity. I also need to protect the things that I have achieved. I can't afford to lose what I have worked so hard for on account of a bad relationship."

A 27-year-old lawyer from Kingston says: "I am single and I choose to remain single because I just love my space, and, more importantly, because I choose not to put up with the foolishness. Men are unreliable. They lie, they cheat. Why would I be tied permanently to that situation when I can live without the heart-ache?"

Just as important, she says, is the fact that men are often too tied to their past. "They are like a garbage skip with everything they have collected in the past. And, they never do anything for you unless they are getting something in return."

Another senior manager, who is a 55-year-old mother of one son, says she will never marry because she loves her freedom. "When I want to get up and do things, there should be no one telling me I can't," she states.

'Mr Honest'

While she watches for 'Mr Honest' with a jaundiced eye, others have slammed the door on hope and say they are happier for having closed it.

A 49-year-old middle-level manager in Kingston says, as she gets older it's harder to think about sharing her space with a partner.

She states, "Having never lived with a man, I have grown to love my own company to the point where I do not know if I can live with anyone now .

"I chose to remain single because somewhere in my late 30s, it dawned on me that perhaps I am in the percentage of women who were meant to be single all their lives. At first, I was hesitant to go out alone, but after a while, I reasoned that I should not go out with a man just because I feel I should impress those looking on."