Heather Little-White, PhD, Contributor

There are several untruths about sex which influence the way persons engage in sexual activities. Over time, loose talk about sex becomes accepted as reality. As such, persons may find that they may not derive the full benefits from sexual intimacy because of the myths they have come to believe.

Myth 1:

Men want sex more than women do

This is wrong. Society is more sensitised to men touting their penises and looking for sex as they try to prove their sexual prowess. Women, most of whom are breadwinners for their families or are upwardly mobile, are focused on work and career advancement with less time to be openly looking for sex.

That is not to say that women do not want to have their sexual needs met. Women are more emotional than men when it comes to intimacy, so women will only make choices that improve their well-being and create more positive feelings about their mate. Studies have shown that when women engage in intimacy and sexual intercourse in the right settings, they provide quality sex, and very often outrun their partners.

Myth 2:

If your partner cheats, he or she does not love his/her spouse.

Having an affair does not mean that a person no longer loves his/her spouse. The reasons for having the affair should be explored and discussed, as it could be that there are problems between the spouses.

Myth 3:

If a girl does not want to get pregnant, she should have sex while standing.

This is wrong and many girls find that they have sex in this position and become pregnant because they feel that the sperm will find it difficult to swim up. However, the sperm will bolt like lightning and swim anywhere and find the female's egg and fertilise it.

Myth 4:

Some women believe that if a man pulls out of the vagina before he ejaculates, it will prevent them from becoming pregnant.

False: Whenever the penis enters the vagina for foreplay or for intercourse, there is a strong possibility for a woman to get pregnant even when the man pulls out before ejaculation. Males, when aroused, produce a liquid that is known as 'pre-ejaculate' and it is loaded with sperm. So if the man pulls out right before ejaculation, he could have already deposited sperm from the 'pre-ejaculate'. Believing this myth encourages partners not to use a condom during the intercourse, putting both partners at risk for contracting HIV and sexually transmitted diseases, and put women at risk for becoming pregnant.

Myth 5:

AIDS is a 'gay' or homosexual disease.

Reality: Data show that HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, is increasing more rapidly among heterosexuals than among homosexuals. Anyone can contact HIV, as with any other sexually transmitted diseases. This is more critical when a condom is not used during intercourse. You may not know if your partner is HIV-positive, so heed the message of wearing a condom every time!

Myth 6:

The bigger the penis, the more pleasure to be derived from intercourse.

False: Enjoyment for sexual intimacy and erotic pleasure is more than the size of the penis. In many instances, women complain that the penis is too big and there is no variation to penetration. Sexual fulfilment for a woman depends on how a man can creatively use his hands, mouth and penis to deliver mind-boggling sex. A man's penis size can be enhanced by penis rings and sleeves to add length and width.

Myth 7:

A popular name-brand carbonated soft drink can prevent women from getting pregnant after she has sex.

This is another myth that only sells more of the carbonated beverage. The sperm is not endangered by the soft drink and once it is deposited in the vagina will do its work in fertilising the female's egg.

Myth 8:

Older couples are not interested in sexual intimacy.

Surprisingly, several older couples do enjoy sexual intimacy as they enter a 'second spring', having passed through menopause and the stresses of raising children and planning for a future. Several couples boast of the enjoyment they experience during sexual intimacy in the senior years.

Myth 9:

Comparing sexual partners in a new relationship will lead to better sex.

This is a mistake most partners make, not realising that the sexual chemistry between couples is different. As you enjoy your present relationship, why should you spend time thinking about your former sexual partners and become less focused on the pleasure you derive from your current mate. Your mind becomes preoccupied with comparing during your intimate moments and you lose out on the full joys of what is happening in the body.

Myth 10:

Having sex in water [pool, ocean, bath or shower] will kill sperm and prevent pregnancy.

This is far from being an effective form of birth control. Sperms are excellent swimmers and will find an egg to fertilise. Hot tubs may kill a few sperm as the testicles get overheated, but there still is enough sperm at move around.

Humans like stories related to sex and the myths and half-truths associated with them are passed on from generation to generation. What is painful, though, is when the fascinating myths become the standard by which partners establish their own sexual performance. If you follow these myths, you may not be a good lover, as you think!