Positive Parenting

George Ramocan admits that he often pulled the strap in matters of discipline but he almost never used it, flogging only when absolutely necessary in the hand, or on the bottom after a "reasoned discussion" on why the punishment was being applied.

As his children grew older, he discussed with them their career paths, allowing them to express opinions which were different from his in these and other discussions.

"If children are not able to feel that their views count, they will eventually exhibit hostile behaviour. Parents need to nurture dialogue, conversation and communication to prepare the way for good relationships with yourself and with their future family."

The Ramocan family also enjoyed playing scrabble and going to the beach together, creating many happy memories along the way. The use of memory gems and scriptures featured in many family discussions. According to George Ramocan, "from a Christian perspective, my children do not belong to me. They were entrusted to my care and I have to use God's laws to raise them."

children are unique

Parents, he said, should not be possessive and inflexible. "Each child is unique and you cannot use the same approach in dealing with all of them."

Children, he said, also have unique talents, and parents have to discover who their children are and support them. "Juette was born with a gift of art and we began to allow her to do a lot of things. We displayed her drawings in the home, highlighting them and showing appreciation. We encouraged her love of ceramics."

Merika, he said, showed a natural talent for communication and was supported through encouragement to enter essay competitions, schools' challenge quiz, to do radio spots and, eventually, enter the Caribbean Institute of Media and Communication the UWI.

entrepreneurial-minded

His other children, he notes, might have inherited his knack for business, because he was always very entrepreneurial-minded, wanting to do what others where not doing in commerce. However, neither Eliud nor Bonita was pressured to do business studies. It was their natural choice.

According to Bonita Ramocan Dunwell, "As long as I can remember, he (her father) allowed me to accompany him to meetings, whenever appropriate, and involved me in various aspects of his business and voluntary activities.

"He has always made it a point of duty to attend PTA meetings and keep abreast of my academic and non-academic development. The dining table was always a debriefing session on our day at school, and his discussions with us were motivational and inspiring. My father always demonstrated that he was interested in building a relationship."

- A.C.