Heather Little-White, PhD, Contributor

It could be said that men have two lives because of the some times drastic change in their personalities at midlife. The condition of male menopause is something that should be understood by men themselves and the women who love them. The gradual changes are often ignored or misunderstood by men as part of ageing or the midlife crisis, but are usually more easily recognised by spouses and other females in their lives. The transitional change in a man's life from First-Adulthood to the Second-Adulthood is referred to as the Male Menopause Passage. At this stage, men should learn skills needed to happily course through the second half of life. For those who understand and accept that the physical, emotional and spiritual changes are helpful in preparing them for the other half of life, the experience will be seen more as an adventure rather than a crisis.

Testosterone decline

Male menopause or andropause [also referred to a viropause] is a physical condition with emotional, interpersonal, social and spiritual dimensions. Between ages 40 to 55, men can expect to experience changes associated with male menopause. Changes can occur as early as age 35 or as late as age 65. The changes are hinged on the decline in testosterone as men age. Unlike menopause in women, where hormone production stops completely, testosterone decline in men is a much slower process.

In a healthy male, the testes can facilitate a man's ability to manufacture sperm well into his 80s or longer. As hormone production decreases, men may feel sexual vigour diminishing, as well as decrease in physical stamina and strength. Other changes in the sex lives of men in midlife crisis include loss of erection during sex, inability to reach orgasm, less interest in sex, increased masturbation, increased concern about not satisfying partner, increased fantasy about sex with others, obsession with sex with younger partners, and increased arguments with spouses over sex and intimacy.

Warning signs

As male menopause approaches, men may suddenly feel insecure about their jobs, and even fearful as their friends get sick or die. During the passage, men will find that their marriages (even second and third) are breaking up and that their dreams are left unfulfilled. Other warning signs of the onset of male menopause include longer recovery time from illness or injuries, loss or thinning of hair, nervousness or irritability, a sense of urgency that time is running out, decreased memory and concentration, increased anxiety or fear, weight gain, inability to sleep, feelings of depression and loss of self-confidence.

Research has shown that men can benefit from menopause as they develop new passion, power and purpose through the 'second adulthood'. Several specialists in menopause research indicate that andropause signals the end of the beginning, that is, the 'first adulthood', and that the best is yet to come. The primary benefit of menopause is that men display more maturity and become more focused. Career-wise, they are more inclined to finish their careers with achievements instead of the days in the 'first adulthood', when work was just a means to an end.

Happiness and intimacy

Spouses benefit from their husbands' passage through menopause as they become more focused on happiness and intimacy once the sexual problems are solved. Men will tend to become monogamous and faithful with their spouses, giving up the multiple affairs of the 'first adulthood'. Men display more maturity and may even concede an argument with their spouse, putting ego and pride aside and displaying more understanding and patience.

The menopause passage can be the most passionate, productive and purposeful time of a man's life. As such, men should take the change seriously and positively and prepare to enjoy the 'second adulthood'. Jed Diamond, in Male Menopause, recommends that men should:

Move from the pressure of sexual performance to the intimacy and joy of sexual fulfilment

End the battle of the sexes with your spouse and celebrate the strengths, passion and devotion of your life partners Treat their male colleagues as friends rather than competitors

Become a mentor to younger men

Live in a way to become a respected elder in the community

Lay the foundation for wealth and health for later life

Be a trailblazer for experiencing a life well lived, well into the 21st century.

Wives' role

One of the symptoms of male menopause is that men become irritable to the extent that it creates conflict for their spouses and others in the household. While wives may bear the emotional burdens from their husbands' changed behaviour, they, too, can become irritable and depressed. Women should inform themselves about male menopause and how to handle it once the first symptoms appear. It requires even more understanding and patience from wives and, equally, husbands should be more gentle and considerate to their wives and families.

Keeping healthy and physically fit are ways for men to cope with the journey through the menopause passage. Nutrition should be sound, with the required amounts of nutrients to prevent diseases, or keep them in check. At this stage, men have to start eating by quality instead of quantity. This is where wives can design a wholesome menu for the whole family and, if necessary, pack lunches for their husbands to ensure quality lunches at the workplace.

Male menopause is bound to happen. The way in which men cope with menopause will depend on how lightly they take its passage, or how much they resent the symptoms. If men accept menopause as a natural occurrence, the process will definitely be less stressful as it coincides naturally with ageing and the hormonal changes of the body.