Angela Philipps, Gleaner Writer

Why is a man so afraid of commitment? And I'm not talking about marriage, but of sticking to one bed partner! Is it so difficult for him to be jumping under the sheets with only a single female rather than several in the week or month? Is it unnatural for humans to be monogamous? Some of you may be saying, "The animal instinct that we have 'makes' guys do what they do."

I say, "Yes, but human intelligence and empathy can 'make' a fellow stop and think about his actions and their impending consequences." Nuh true?

I have many male friends who tell me that they simply cannot help themselves when it comes to women. Come on! What a stack of bologna! The real killer is that a lot of them don't understand why we have an issue with this. And even if they know we'll be upset, they still refuse to accept that responsibility.

Last week I received an email from a reader, who claims that we Jamaican women are our own worst enemies because we let men get away with this improper behaviour. If we all agreed not to put up with this, then perhaps they wouldn't do it. Is this true? As a society, do we have the tendency to allow this to happen to us?

From as far back as I can remember, there were two things which would make me leave a guy, no questions asked: if he cheated on me, and if he took drugs. The problem is that I am so unsuspecting of people. I am the first to preach, "Innocent until proven guilty." I assume that my man of the moment only has eyes and arms for me. Naïve, perhaps, but this trust comes with the happy-go-lucky and bubbly personality that I have. Understand, though, that I'm so much better at detecting a liar than I used to be, and if I discover an undesirable fact about someone, then he's out!

why can't they be happy with one woman?

But blokes shouldn't be misbehaving in the first place! Why can't they be happy with one woman at a time? Doesn't it get tiring or confusing to be stringing along a few? What is so different in the make-up of a male that results in him, essentially, destroying the souls of the girls he dates or hooks up with?

It's not surprising that we singletons out there have no desire to change our status. If this is the way the opposite sex is going to be acting, then no thank you. I'm sure I've written this before, "It's better to be alone, than to be lying next to someone and feeling lonely."

We still haven't solved the mystery as to why men will not keep their pants on! One friend told me that his father was like that, therefore, he was destined to turn out the same way. Is this a fact? If so, then mothers who cradle their baby sons in their arms must be cringing. Imagine looking down at your child 'knowing' that he's going to be a womaniser. I bet some of you are smiling at this thought. Now, think of your daughters. You really want the boys to be treating them so badly? And what if girls were to grow up and 'let loose' as well? Would you be laughing then?

To be frank, if women are capable of committing to one person at a time, then I don't see why men can't and don't reciprocate. You have to realise that even the ones who say that they love their girlfriends are also fooling around with others. Forgive me if I'm wrong here, but doesn't love imply respect? It sounds like the trouble with men is not in their genes, but in their jeans!

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com.