In the not very distant future (if certain people have their way) the following could become common place in Jamaica:

Tourist: "Hello there, we are tourists on our first visit to your beautiful island and have been to Mandeville, Kingston and Montego Bay and just left May Pen about an hour ago, could you suggest any other interesting stops along the way that we could make on our way back to Kingston?"

Jamaican woman: "Yu haffi galang dung dis ya road an kip awn tell yu ketch a Sandy Bay, no tun awf, jus kip awn so til yu ketch a di toll road and den fallaw dat go a town, awright?"

Jamaican woman's companion: "A whey dem axe yu?"

Jamaican woman: "Mi nuh know missis, but it soun like dem waan go a Kingston so mi elp dem out wid the direction."

Tourist: "Honey, what language did you say they spoke here in Jamaica? I thought you said they spoke English?"

The foregoing isn't intended to be funny in any way but rather is an example of where some of our so-called academicians want to see Jamaica reach within a very short time from now. The rest of the world (non-English speaking countries) are all teaching English, as a second language, to their children in order to prepare for the eventual 'global village', which the world is gradually becoming.

Precise language

English has been the language of commerce before the birth of the very oldest human being still alive today. This is so because it is the most efficient and precise language of them all. Some of our educators, wishing, no doubt, to be 'one-eyed men in a blind-eyed country', want to rob our future generations of the advantages, which accompany having mastery and use of the most widely used language in the world. They want this because the children of today go to high schools and can't seem to catch on to English.

Well, laa-dee-dah, whose fault is that? If our children don't have a good knowledge of both English grammar, combined with a reasonably large vocabulary and the ability to spell, it is not the children's fault.

The problem rests squarely at the feet of those who, though grossly underpaid, are failing the children in our classrooms. I, and many of my generation, atten-ded Jamaican primary schools, prep schools and high schools and left with a fair working knowledge of the English Language. It has served me very well in my long lifetime and still does today. My working career included interfacing with many overseas representatives, who all spoke English, no matter what their native languages were and, they being involved in international trade, equipped themselves with English as a second language, in order to succeed.

Mad men at Mona

Now, the mad men at Mona want us to scrap this foreign (colonial?) tongue and 'chat fi wi owna ting' and thus isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. Why do that to children struggling against the already too heavy burden of learning one language? Will they not need to learn a second language, as well, in order to converse with foreigners? Or do the proponents of this insanity visualise Jamaica as being so important that tourists will all take a crash course in 'Yahoolish' or whatever it will be called? Thanks again, to the late Morris Cargill for that wonderful word.

Over the years, I have listened to people from University of the West Indies propose this ludicrous idea and they all have something very interesting in common ... they all spoke perfect English! Isn't that something? The solution to our problems in education is easily found. Just get competent teachers to impart the first class standards, which we once offered in Jamaica. Just offer it on a wider scale than in my student days and our very intelligent youngsters will do the rest. Do not cheat our children of their opportunities. They are the ones, who will be the leaders and managers of the near future and they will need all the preparation that our generation can offer. 'Fi wi langwige' is a lot of fun to use, (I enjoy it immensely) but IT IS NOT THE ANSWER.

- Derryck Penso

pensoreal@yahoo.com