Glenford Smith, Gleaner Writer

They were blissfully in love. Had wonderful times and beautiful children together. There was the wedding, the kiss, and even more bliss. Then came the crisis - a life-shattering separation ending in a bitter divorce.

This scenario is a painfully familiar one to more than half of those who ever get married. The experience of divorce is often a devastating one. Among the most difficult aspects of divorce is keeping your life on course despite the pressing concerns arising from the divorce.

John,the divorced husband of two children, had to manage work, school, and church obligations while rebounding from a divorce. "The real challenge is to keep your focus on your other important life goals. This can be hard. You can easily lose your way. You can be obsessed with thoughts of 'Why me? This can't be happening. How could God make this to happen to me'?"

The problem is further compounded by contemplating such thoughts as: "What will people think? How will I start all over again? My friends and family will see me as a failure. What are my co-workers thinking of me and saying behind my back?"

Localise the problem

The key to keeping your life on track is to limit the influence of your failed marriage to just that area of your life. Localise the problem. Don't allow it to permeate your work life, your health, or your education. Your marriage failed - don't go on to say things like: "I'm a terrible wife and mother. I'm no good. I'm a failure. I can't do anything right. I must be awful why this person cheated on me and doesn't love me anymore." This is one of the worst things you can do.

Don't let your embarrassment, regret, or feelings of low self-worth adversely affect your work performance. Don't allow your disgust or distrust with your ex to spill over into your other relationships.

You can do it

John had this to say: "If you are not careful, divorce can cause you to lose your sanity. But you have it within you to rebound. You must believe this. Get someone you trust to share your emotional hurt with. You don't need to follow all his or her advice - just seek different perspectives, and talk about how you feel."

Stay on course.

Name changed.

Glenford Smith is a motivational speaker and peak performance coach. Email him at glenfordsmith@yahoo.com.