Petrina Francis, Staff Reporter

They quarrel almost every day. It seems they try to outdo each other during their regular shouting matches. They smash things, trash each other's character and before you know it, they're friends again.

Markand Shawnahave serious problems. They love each other but can't seem to figure out why the simplest of things them turn into hot-headed cussouts. Neighbours are accustomed to the war of words and the conflict doesn't seem to be getting any better.

Psychologist Dr Leahcim Semaj says frustration often leads to aggression in relationships. He notes that conflict arises when two people have different opinions about an issue. So whether the woman is upset because the money isn't enough for groceries, or the man dislikes the way his partner squeezes the toothpaste, these issues - from the complex to the trivial - invariably lead to disagreements.

Then the quarrel begins.

At that time, Semaj says, communication has broken down and partners are not thinking rationally. The name-calling and arguments cause disputes to escalate, often in physical confrontation.

rules of engagement

Semaj tells Saturday Life that if couples realise they can't control their anger, they need to work out some rules of engagement. He says it takes two quarrel, so if one partner realises the other is about to explode, he/she should defuse the conflict with a non-aggressive response. If this fails, the couple needs to seek professional help.

The psychologist says money is the primary reason behind most marital conflicts. When resources get tight, frustration sets in. He suggests that couples discuss financial belt-tightening before things get out of control.

petrina.francis@gleanerjm.com