Q I am a 19-year-old woman and I have a concern about whether my boyfriend is a virgin.
I am a virgin and I have suggested to him that we postpone sex until marriage. That will be in a few years' time.
However, I am beginning to suspect that he is sexually active.
I've been told by peers and close relatives that one can tell whether a guy is a virgin or not. They say that if the boy's foreskin still covers his penis when he is erect, he is still a virgin. Is this true?
Someone else told me that if the tip of the guy's penis is red, that means he is still virgin.
Are there any other signs which could indicate whether my boyfriend is sexually active?
Also, what is the best contraceptive available? Is it the Pill, or the condom?
A The last part of your email seems to suggest that maybe you are thinking of giving up your virginity after all. Please think carefully before you do this. It is NOT a decision that a young woman should take lightly!
If you do decide to start having sex with your boyfriend, both the Pill and condom are effective methods of contraception.
However, ensure that you know how to use them properly. You should get a health professional to explain them to you carefully.
Now, let us turn to the question of your boyfriend's alleged virginity. What you have been told by these people are MYTHS.
It is completely untrue that if a boy's foreskin covers his penis during erection, that means he is a virgin. All it means is that the foreskin is a little too tight. It should 'roll back' when the penis is stiff.
Similarly, the idea that a 'red-coloured tip' indicates virginity is just foolishness.
In fact, there is NO way one can tell whether a male has ever had sex. Even a doctor can't determine a guy's virginity.
Please remember that if your boyfriend has been 'playing away from home', there is a possibility that he may have picked up a sexually transmitted infection (STI). If you had started having intercourse with him, that would expose YOU to the risk of an STI.
I suggest that you ask him to be frank with you and tell you if he has been sexually active.
Advise him that if he has done so, he should get a medical check-up.
Don't start having sex with him until you are sure that he is completely healthy!
Q Is there any instant cure for acne?
A I'm afraid not. Acne does tend to get better over a period of time. If you have it badly, see a doc, who may put you on long-term treatment, in the form of tablets to be taken every day.
Q My girlfriend is 16. Since her most recent period started, she feels a burning sensation when passing urine.
Is this an infection? How long will it take to heal? And what treatments can be used?
AOK. The probability is that this young lady has a urinary tract infection. That's pretty much the same thing as cystitis - inflammation of the bladder.
Lots of women get this condition soon after they start having sex. That is because fooling around in the vaginal area is likely to introduce germs into the female urinary tube.
Now you ask how long the problem will take to heal. Well, it could heal by itself in a couple of weeks, but I really would NOT recommend waiting around to see if that happens.
Instead, your girlfriend should see a doc - taking a specimen of her urine with her. This MUST be in a clean container.
The doc can test the urine, then give her the correct medication and, if necessary, arrange some lab tests.
QI am 20 and want to get pregnant. But every time I have sex, my boyfriend's sperm runs out of me.
Does this mean there is something wrong with me? Does it indicate that I am infertile?
A No, it doesn't. I am sure you are not infertile.
In fact, yours is one of the commonest queries in my postbag. Many young women do not realise that when a guy discharges inside them, most of the fluid will run out again within a few minutes. There is nowhere else for it to go.
Some sperms may well get up into the womb or the tubes - and maybe cause pregnancy. But the bulk of the liquid will simply run out. That is NOT a sign of infertility.
QI am an 18-year-old man and I like girls. When I masturbate, I think about beautiful female movie stars.
But during the day, I find that sometimes I do admire the muscular bodies of top male athletes.
Do you feel there is any danger that I will grow up as a homosexual?
ANo, I don't think so. It is perfectly reasonable to admire the physique of a highly trained human male - in just the same way that one would admire the body of a fine racehorse.
Clearly, your sexual instincts are directed towards women, and I'm sure you have strictly heterosexual inclinations.
Q I am very concerned about my vaginal health. I started having intercourse about a year ago.
Since that time, I have had a yellowish, milky discharge on many occasions. It doesn't smell good, but I have no soreness.
I have visited a gynaecologist three times, and he did tests for STIs. But each time the results were negative. The discharge goes away after a course of antibiotics, but returns.
I am very worried. What should I do?
AI have not examined you, so it is difficult for me to make an exact diagnosis.
However, from what you say, I have a strong suspicion that you may have the common condition called bacterial vaginosis, or BV.
Bacterial vaginosis is NOT thought to be a sexually transmitted condition, but often begins when a woman starts having intercourse. It is believed to be caused from an 'upset' in the balance of the normal bacterial content of the vagina. Chief symptom is a persistent greyish or yellowish discharge, which does not smell too good.
I suggest you ask the gynaecologist whether BV could be the diagnosis. If so, you will probably need a further course of special antibiotics. Avoid sex for a couple of months. Above all, don't douche, as this practice can disturb the vaginal environment.
Want advice from Doc? Email questions to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com, or post to Doctor's Advice, The Gleaner Co, 7 North Street, Kingston.
