Q I need some help with my little son. He's three years old and does not want to use the toilet. He knows when he wants to go and will ask for a diaper at that time. He wears his brief during the day and night and says when he wants to urinate. I've tried in several ways to encourage him to use the toilet but he just doesn't like sitting on it and even starts to cry when I insist that he's not getting the diaper and should use the toilet. If I refuse to give him the diaper, he'll cry until he falls asleep (he normally asks for it in the evenings) without doing anything. When he does sit on the toilet, he doesn't do anything, saying, "It's not coming." He's going to start school in September and I need him to be ready by then. It's very frustrating (and costly) as he is quite intelligent for his age.

A The first thing you will have to work on is finding out why your child is fearful of the toilet, then figure out a way to help him work through his fear.

Have him inspect the toilet to realise that there is nothing there to harm him. A child toilet seating aid can also help. This may be placed on the toilet seat to make him more comfortable.

When you let him understand that you are concerned about his fear, he will feel that you want to protect and support him.

As the parent, after you figure out what specific thing your child is afraid of, then you can help him get through it by encouragement.

Remember how you felt as a child when you were afraid of something? Your child is very likely to be feeling the same way. Acknowledge his feeling and treat him with tenderness and patience. Listen to what he has to say and help him work through it by being positive and patient.

Also, if he did not use a potty, you can use that now and then 'graduate' him to the toilet.

Q My children are seven and five years old - both boys. I think it is now time to talk about sex. What do I do?

A I am happy that you feel ready to guide your children about sexual issues. Your responses should be truthful at all times.

You can start first by giving the correct names of body parts and explaining why girls are different from boys. Remember to be clear and get help from books or other professionals if there is any detail needed to answer questions. At the same time, do not burden the children with too much information.

Q My children are six and 11 years old. They watch a lot of television. I know I am to blame as I put them there while I do things around the house. How can I stop them now?

A That is a problem for many parents. Here are some things that you can do to control the watching of television in your home.

First, you must limit the hours of television that the children watch.

You should sit and speak with them and tell them why you are doing this.

You can also choose with your children, the shows that you will allow them to watch and those you will watch with them.

What I would love for you to do is to encourage them to read more. Start a reward programme for reading. Get them involved in the local library reading programmes. They usually have some fun programmes during the summer holidays.

Q My four-year-old is still afraid of the dark. She will wake up to use the bathroom and sit on the bed and wet it because she is afraid of the dark. I need help.

A Please remember that it is normal at this stage of life to be fearful. In general, at this stage, most children are fearful of many things that do not exist.

You can help her to use the bathroom before she goes to sleep so that she is likely to sleep through the night without waking up. Also, do not allow her to watch television programmes with monsters and ghosts. Please make sure that you do not laugh at your child. Be positive in encouraging her.