Q I found my 10-year-old with the children next door watching blue movies and when I spoke with her about the matter, she was rude to me and told me they watch them regularly. I told her that if she watches these sex acts, she might start doing them. My daughter waits for me next door because school finishes at 2:30 p.m. and I don't get home until 6 p.m. There is a 'big' woman at the house with the other children in the evenings. I am a single parent and I don't know what to do. I am in shock as we live in the countryside and did not expect this. I told her it is a bad thing, but I have a problem with where to let my daughter stay until I get home. I don't know what to do.
A I hope you have told the woman next door what you found out. I am very concerned there was not better monitoring of the children by those responsible.
Don't be too upset with your child. At this age, she doesn't fully understand how this may affect her. It would be wise for you to find another place where your child would not be exposed to adult material.
Continue to check up on places to which you can send your child to ensure her safety.
Q I have a 12-year-old son who is not doing well in mathematics. He recently got low scores in the maths section of the GSAT but good scores on almost everything else. He is reading very well, has a good memory and really tries hard in maths class. He cries when he tries but just can't do it well. Can you help me?
A Your son may have dyscalculia, which is a difficulty in learning or understanding mathematics. Many people have this maths disorder. Sometimes persons with this disorder also have difficulties with time, measurement and spatial reasoning, which is the way things are arranged.
You should get a psychologist to assess your son. A psychologist and a special education teacher will be able to put together a plan to help your child learn his math skills.
Q My son was recently sent home to Jamaica by his father, who said he is out of control. He is 14 years old and is mostly at home by himself in Miami as his father and stepmother are busy working. My son and his father are always arguing. He was not doing well in school and was in trouble at the school for cursing another child. He is an American citizen and I am going to school in the evenings and cannot keep him with me in Jamaica as I share conveniences. I don't know what to do after the holidays.
A Has your child ever been tested for any learning problems when he was in the United States? The American school system provides for children with learning and behaviour problems to be tested and many types of services provided at no cost to parents.
I recommend that you speak with his father and ask him if he can get your son tested in America to see if he has any learning problems. When children are frustrated because of learning challenges, it might be exhibited in their behaviour at home, school or even while playing.
You need to find out what your son's father means when he says he is out of control. If it is that he is aggressive, he can get help through counselling for this. You may also want to seek counselling for him while he is here in Jamaica to see if you can start the process.
POSITIVE Parenting
Having problems with your children? Write to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner, 7 North Street, Kingston, fax 922-6223 or email helpline@gleanerjm.com. Dr Orlean Brown-Earle, child psychologist and family therapist, has the solutions.
