Angela Philipps, Contributor

Are you finding it difficult to get over your ex? Is getting on with your life proving to be just too much for you at this point? Are you convinced that you'll never find another person to love?

I can imagine there is a fair amount of nodding heads right now. Don't get too excited here, I'm not able to wave a magic wand and relieve you of your emotional pain. But what I can do is share with you the lessons I have learned, tell you that you are not alone in this situation, and hand out a bit of advice.

Here is an email from one of the many I have received from readers of my column, relating to this subject:

"How is it that I get over my ex? I find it hard to move on. Please, can I have some advice or some motivation, as it's been three months and I am still calling him and asking for a second chance and I did not do anything wrong. He went out and got some girl pregnant and I still want to continue the relationship. I really love him. Please help me. I need to move on."

I briefly replied back to her, "Just try and stay strong ... why would anyone want to be with someone who doesn't love them? Just keep telling yourself this. You want to be with a guy who does love you." I told her that I would be writing this article and that she should look out for it. This was her follow-up:

"I tried calling him and I poured out my heart to him but I don't know if it made much of a difference. I am going to stay true to the little motivation that you have given to me but I still need your full advice. Please don't forget me."

The truth is that men, in the past, have also written to me about similar things. However, I wanted to cite the most recent letter on this subject.

The human heart is a funny thing. Or perhaps, it's the mind? I too have been in a position where I wanted my boyfriend back. I couldn't understand how he'd fallen out of love with me, but to be frank all I cared about was having him in my life again. I didn't stop and think logically about it. I couldn't come to the conclusion that I was better off by myself than with a guy who didn't love me. I guess it's a form of obsession, though that's a fact not easy to admit for many of us.

This lady's case is slightly different from what I've experienced, but I know many women can relate to it. I am going to have to be harsh on you all. The new girlfriend is having a baby for him and you still want to lay your pretty head in his bed? What on earth are you thinking? This would make you the 'other gal'. You'd have to share him with the 'babymother'. No, no, no ... come on, you couldn't possibly be happy with that. At some point down the line you'd be resentful and unhappy. It's better that you deal with your broken heart now than accept this sticky situation.

Listen, I know what it's like to be madly in love with someone. And the first true love of your life is the hardest to get over. You believe that you're incapable of feeling so strongly ever again for a man, or a woman. But please understand that you are more resilient than you think. You have qualities that are special. Your ex was attracted to you for certain reasons and others will find this appealing as well. Your ex clearly has qualities that you adore and he is not the only person with these particular qualities. It's only a matter of time before you meet someone else, but you must be open to it. Now, moving on ...

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com