Relationship: Bedroom boredom - Rekindling the flames of romance
published:
Saturday | April 19, 2008
Petrina Francis, Staff Reporter
Bedroom boredom is a perennial problem that can bleed a relationship of its vibrancy. Some persons try to find solutions, but others suffer in silence because they fear hurting their partners.
According to counsellor and therapist Leaford Henderson, boredom implies a lack of fulfilment.
"So, if there is boredom or lack of satisfaction, then this implies failed expectations, and if there are failed expectations, the important thing to bear in mind is that one has to examine what those expectations are," he says.
Initial phase
Henderson explains that the initial phase of the relationship is usually rooted in passion, but research has shown that this wears off significantly with time. Therefore, it's extremely important that couples learn to build intimacy, communication and creativity to satisfy each other.
"That's a goal which that individual needs to set as the relationship progresses, otherwise what you find is that first hot passion, after it wears off, there isn't anything significant to keep the relationship going," Henderson argues.
Divorce dilemma
The counsellor said research has shown that more than 65 per cent of marriages end with significant problems.
"One of the ways that problems manifest themselves is through boredom in sexual relationship. When there is boredom, it indicates some problems," the therapist adds.
Among the factors precipitating boredom, Henderson notes, are relational, social, psychological and physical issues. He also say sexual problems which lead to boredom can be caused by sexual dysfunction.
petrina.francis@gleanerjm.com
Overcome boredom in sex
What's important is that each partner takes the responsibility to educate himself/herself and find out what is happening.
Go to the book store to find information that will help.
I strongly recommend therapy from a professional.
Communication is very important. If one realises that a partner is bored, one should find out the unfulfilled expectations.
After identifying the shortcomings, consider if you can meet those expectations.
Then I need to find out what are my responsibilities as a partner.
The attitude which people enter into relationships is very important. You should be considerate about your partner's welfare, happiness, feelings and needs.
Have tips you'd like to share with our readers on how to cure bedroom boredom? Email them to editor@gleanerjm.com.