Amid the debate that is raging concerning the rights of the child as against the rights of the mother and on whether life begins at conception or after 12 weeks, I want to introduce a story - the story of women who have faced the choice of abortion and what they went through afterwards.
I remember being on the UWI, Mona campus in the 1970s and a friend of mine became pregnant in her second year. Her boyfriend, a medical student, wanted nothing to do with a pregnant girlfriend. She was advised to abort it by the boyfriend and the boyfriend's parents, who had no intention of having their son disrupt his medical career by this ill-timed baby.
She, on her side, had a father who advised her to abort the baby and a mother who was not around for her. She was in the United States. She, a normally bubbly, vivacious sophisticate became a confused, desolate girl.
She was not sure she wanted to do the abortion. Why? She had already had one. She already had to go to the psychiatrist for treatment for the post-traumatic distress she was experiencing from doing the first abortion. She could not face the thought of doing another abortion.
After going through much struggle she decided to keep her baby. She left campus, had her baby and returned later to complete her degree. There are many such stories out there, many cases of women who are undergoing serious psychological problems such as suicidal thoughts.
In another case, a friend, who was pregnant with her second child, found in her first trimester that she had been exposed to German measles. Her doctor told her that this would affect the normal development of her child and strongly advised her to have an abortion.
It was a very difficult and traumatic time for my friend. She and her husband were Christians and abortion was something that they felt was wrong. Here she was personally confronted with this situation. Her husband disagreed with the advice of the doctor but she was in a state of conflict and distress. She feared the future.
After much struggle and prayer and soul-searching, she decided to have her baby. He is now a handsome grown man who has completed his tertiary education and is living a normal fulfilled life.
Documented cases
There are many documented cases such as the one from which the following quotation is taken: "Abortion wrecked my life. Emotionally, I was a different person before and after it. It left a path of destruction in my life. My family, my first marriage, my image of myself - all a total wreck. Nothing will ever be the same." The Post-Abortion Review 1(3), Fall 1993. (Taken from www.afterabortion.org)
The story continues with Christina Milford from Montego Bay:
"I chose to have and raise my children, against all odds. Yes, we were shrouded with shame, despised, stigmatised, and experienced rejection ... but I overcame, and today, I am a proud mother of two sons and their wives, and grandma of two wonderful grandchildren. I too was pressured to abort my children, and came pretty close to doing so with the first. At 12 weeks gestation, the doctor whom I consulted, warned me against abortion and about the risk I ran of either killing myself, or becoming sterile for life. Thank God, doctor, you counselled a frightened, angry, teenage girl, presenting options that have left me proud to be a mother during these my years of generativity. My children are both successful citizens - my first now pursuing his doctorate as an engineer and a Christian, my second, a well-respected Christian businessman.
"Recently, I participated in an Abortion Recovery retreat where several women for the first time, felt free to express the grief they had held for years relative to the abortions they could not take back. We had a shared sorrow. Mine was the grief connected to all that went with raising children regarded as second-class citizens in society. Theirs, the grief associated with destroying their children in abortions - done to appease society's double standards (and maintain the status of being a 'good girl'). I feel their pain as a woman who was almost there.
Teens pressured
"Our teens today are no different from those in my days - except that they are pressured on every side to be sexually involved, with a promise of being fine, just as long as they 'use condom every time'.
Surprised by an unplanned pregnancy, rejection of the baby's father, and the looming threat of family and society's response, a teenager tries for a quick fix - abortion. But, she will never forget. Her hurt and loss in the child that dies will be real. She will not have permission to grieve, not from herself, not from anyone else, and no-one will console her. She will bear her pain and guilt alone, and the fear of breast cancer will plague her when she knows of its connection with abortion.
"Abortion is traumatic to a woman, resulting not just in the death of her child(ren), but a lifetime of prolonged sorrow. I have been privileged to share in a healing experience firsthand. Healing is available after an abortion. If healing is necessary, abortion cannot be good for women. Let us present some better choices to our youth ... not just of life or death. Let us believe in them and their ability to make informed decisions about their sexual and reproductive health. Let us give them the facts, the truth, and better options."
Christina Milford is the founder and director of Pregnancy Resource Centre of Jamaica in Montego Bay.
The pressing call for abortion is due to society's desire for a free sexual lifestyle. This breeds the need to destroy an unwanted baby, the outcome of sex, limb by limb. Let's look back and destroy the root cause, not the offshoot of the problem.
Esther Tyson is principal of Ardenne High School, St Andrew.
