Jennifer Keane-Dawes, Contributor

KEANE-DAWES

Me dear mam:

De other day me come a yard come spen nuff time wid me madda. Sake a me fahda memorial service an christmus. An me glad yu si? Cause fram a bawn fe see a ooman fe cook sweet. Das why not even crow bar cyan dig weh fe me sista fe lef mama kitchen a come a foreign.

For hear dis, one Sunday evening me call mama from foreign. An a me sista she dat answer de phone an know seh a me. Hear har wid har mouth full inna me aise. "Yu have reached de Davis residence weh we just a go dung inna some rice an peas an chicken. Plus some chiny food weh me bring. Mi an mama mout will be occupied fe a few hours well. Dis is a recording fram Kingston Jamaica." Missis yu think dat easy?

Master Teacher

So me dear mam, a cyan tell yu how a feel good. An de heap a noise me mek when Ministry of Education smady announce me sista, Joan Davis-Williams, Master Teacher at Ardenne High School, Teacher of the Year fe de whole island of Jamaica. Lawd, me yeye full a water when me memba how we fahda, God bless him soul everlasting, used to work hard an drive JOS bus, rain or shine, fe sen we g'a school. But, when me see how me sista step up strong inna de high heel boot pon de stage fe receive de trophy, is like me hear me fahda voice a smile inna me spirit: "Nuh cry, tenk massa gad. Har nerves strong. Memba de pidgin soup."

For missis, when we a little pickney an we madda gone a market, we used to shoob through dis ooman fence. Me sista used to push har han inna de pidgin coob. Draw out de one weh a sleep too soun wid him back tun. Ring him neck like any obeah man, han it to me fe pick off de fedda. An, as me did tell yu, me cook it dung wid vegetable an full we belly before we madda come. For, sake a beaten we used to get fe hard aise, pidgin soup was de best ting fe nerves.

But my dear lady, pon a serious note, teaching is a thing weh tek a toll pon yu nerves. Like dis teacher a country weh me hear bout. Missis, she used to teach English an sake a dat, was very prim an proper. Well, one day, while she a teach, dis ooman, wid har mout pon top a har voice, bully har way pon de corridor wid a iron pipe fe flatten English teacher. For she woan lef har husband.

Well missis, me hear seh, by de time de class a pickney coulda look two side, Miss English tun magician an missen! Weh yu think him kin pupa lick an gone? Nuh twiss up eena de cupboard? Pon one piece a baddy cum dung. Wid a heap a ole tinnin pan. A crape up him two foot up an dung like roast yam.While de man wife outta de doorway. Coulda hardly blow.

How she done mek up har mine fe charge fe murder. Cause de wutliss dis an dat deserve fe g'a har yard dis evening widout har head. Well, hatartity escort de ooman offa de compound. An lef miss English fe crawl outta de cupboard. Cramp up. An inna huppen disgrace. Suh yu get me mam? Fe tan up inna classroom tek nerves. Das why me sen congratulations to me sista an every good teacha a yard. Oono deserve a medal.

Tek care!

Dr Jennifer Keane-Dawes is a professor of communication at Elizabeth City State University, a constituent institution of the University of North Carolina System.