There is no job description for being a parent. Instead, says Ms Allison Anderson, chief executive officer, Child Development Agency (CDA), who spoke at one of the Victoria Mutual Building Society Marriage and the Family series in Kingston, "You know that things can go wrong at anytime and that you are solely responsible for that product. That is the only kind of (job) description you have."

However, the CDA head notes, there are basic guidelines which good parents can use to raise children who are less exposed to the evils which exist in society.

Exhibit self-control

Parents, Ms Anderson said, should exhibit some self-control, some self-discipline, "knowing that we don't always have to respond either physically, or loudly, or aggressively when children step out of line."

Parents should try to be role models for their children.

"We are the mirrors through which our children see their world. So when a child looks at me, he is looking at how the world is, and therefore, we must strive to be good role models," Anderson said.

Parents should also be active in building relationships of trust and setting boundaries for their children.

Children are children

Noting that at the CDA she encounters "many children who are deeply disturbed", she revealed the following incidents: "I had an occasion to have two young ladies in my car … I went to pick them up in the country where they were staying. These were two young ladies who were reported to me to be very difficult individuals, and they were having a lot of problems. I had been trying to build up a relationship with them and asked if they wanted to stay at my home for a couple of days.

"These were aggressive children. I picked them up in St Ann, and by the time I reached Fern Gully they were both asleep. And I had to laugh to myself … children are children.

"(Loud, aggressive, disturbed) but they were sound asleep as soon as they go into the car … like babies. It was such a stark reminder to me of the vulnerability, the innocence of children. No matter how difficult they may seem at their core, all children are innocent."

Seek help

Anderson said that if men and women were not meeting the challenges as parents, they have to seek help.

"Your church, your office, your neighbourhood is a start. My organisation, the Child Development Agency, is a source for you. Go into the office. We have information and tips for mothers and fathers on how to … you don't have to sit in silence … find support."

She also advised parents to blow the whistle on abusers.

"When you see others not being good parents, we have a responsibility to say something. If you see something wrong happening to a child, report it to the relevant authorities. It is an obligation and a duty under our laws. You can call 1888-PROTECT, and they'll take it from there."

Parenting tips

The CDA head offered the following tips on parenting:

Communicate with and listen to your children.

Support your children

Affirm them

Reinforce positive behaviour

Teach them respect

Give them responsibilities

Pray together

Admit to and seek help if you have problems

Share play time together and have fun together

Have a strong sense of togetherness

Make plans for the future together

Smile with your children and love them.