Heather Little-White, Ph.D.Contributor

The start of a new year is a landmark time for couples to take stock of their relationships with a view to making improvements during the year.

Whether you have been married for 50 years, five years or you are just courting, your relationship might have lost the spark it had when you first met, so there will be the need to spruce up the union. Whatever the age and stage, your relationship will present new and demanding challenges over time and there are no magical solutions to make it perfect.

As you age, life changes and you have to be willing to make adjustments to meet the changes and the ways you relate to each other. Where do you start? There are many ways to go about improving relationships.

You will need to identify the areas that are to be made better. Initially, there are soul-searching questions both of you can answer, then compare scores and use the questionnaire as a basis for discussion. You should have a strong bond with your partner, understanding each other and growing together.

With commitment and good communication, passion should abound to add sparks to the union.

Communication

Communication is critical to the vibrancy of any relationship. A good relationship is virtually impossible without good communication. Do you argue more than you have sex? Do you find it easy to say you are sorry? Do you resolve problems and learn from them? Do you feel that your partner is fully by your side?

Effective Communication Skills

The most important quality of your relationship is how well you and your mate communicate with and relate to each other.

Communication means talking, listening, reading body language, understanding, learning each other's sexual behaviour and caring about what each other is saying.

For a relationship to grow, couples should share activities and interests that are both meaningful and enjoyable to each of them. If one partner is always giving in to what the other wants to do, this will eventually lead to feelings of resentment.

It is true that opposites attract, but you and your mate must have enough qualities in common to sustain a long-term meaningful relationship.

Tips for keeping passion alive

Redefine your lovemaking. Start with slow kisses in the morning. Husbands may take a few minutes to massage the heads of their wives. Start the connection in the morning and finish up in the evening.

Get creative. Let the baby-sitter take the children on a long visit to the park or drop them to the movies and pick them up a later time if the cinema is nearby. Couples should go back to their courting years when they get in the car, take a drive off the beaten path, park, somewhere safe and enjoy nature.

Be spontaneous. Rediscover the living-room or your favourite part of the house, away from the bedroom that often makes you think of a sex routine.

As a new year begins, you have to make sprucing up your relationship a priority so that your life in general can be happy for you and yours.