Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson

Dear Counsellor:

I've got a big problem with my son in Jamaica. I left Jamaica, for the United Kingdom, when he was two years old, looking for greener pastures, but I am now paying big time for my action.

I visited regularly, checked on his progress in school, and saw that he was generally OK. Round about age 14 he started high school. From that time onward he seemed reluctant to progress in any shape or form and left school without any qualification. I sympathised with him and offered to support him to retake his exams, or take him over here with me so I can support him better. He refused the offers.

I am at my wits' end and sometimes feel like giving up. I strongly believe he is smoking cannabis. Please, please help me. Thanks.

- Desperate mother

Dear Desperate Mother:

You seem to have reached the end with your son. Please don't give up on him. It is a struggle and a challenge. Your son is demotivated and uninterested in school or work. He may be occupied doing other things.

Your son may have passed through a period of depression. Many adolescents are suffering from depression and this is affecting their schoolwork. Their friends are usually uninterested in schoolwork and influence them negatively. He needs a mentor and confidant to help to motivate him positively. Boys tend to need male role models in their lives. An uncle or grandfather can play that role. A trusted teacher, pastor or community leader can play that role also.

As a young adult he should be thinking of a career and starting a family. If he is living with relatives, they should take him to a counsellor to try to identify what issues he is struggling with. We have to try to save our males in whatever way we can. He can be tested for cannabis to determine whether or not he is smoking.

Don't give up on him as it takes a lot of effort and time to raise children. He is currently having problems and we need to try to reach out to him. He may be reacting to the fact that you are away. Where is the father or substitute father? The relatives who are with him should encourage him to make something of his life.

Teen daughter is autistic

Dear Counsellor:

I have a daughter, aged 18 years, who has autism. She makes sounds, but no audible words. She gets aggressive at times and is disruptive. Her medication causes her to be more settled and less aggressive. She sits and laughs to herself. She lives with me but at times I think of placing her in an institution.

- Judith

Dear Judith:

Many children are being diagnosed with autism and we need to provide for a subgroup of these children who are severely 'disordered'. Some autistic children are moderately to severely mentally retarded and require special care.

Autism ranges from mild to severe. Some of the children are disruptive, aggressive and have sleep problems. Some have seizures while others get psychotic. Fortunately, these symptoms can be treated with medication and the functioning of these individuals improved. Some children tend to be involved in self-destructive behaviours like head banging and eye gouging.

The symptoms of autism vary between individuals and their level of functioning varies as well. Some of these individuals are near normal, have friends, family and a career.

It is challenging to care for an individual who is severely autistic and mentally retarded. You will need to make use of community resources and ask family and friends to help you. Taking a break from caregiving is important as it helps to make coping easier.

There is an autism support group that meets at 4 o'clock on a fourth Saturday at the YMCA.

Phone Dr. Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at 978-8602 or email yvonniebd@hotmail.com.