KELLY

I never cared much for fairy tales, even when I was a lad but lately I'm beginning to think I am the reincarnation of one of Snow White's dwarves; grumpy.

It seems no matter what the circumstance, situation or occurrence, I am bound to have one reaction, and it is always to grumble, mumble and gripe. Not good for a person of 26 years. But even that makes me grumpy because sometimes I feel like I'm 62.

I've tried everything I can think of to calm my poor old brain, but nothing seems to work.

Love to watch sports, but most of the time, it seems my teams lose, so that's no fun. I try reading books or magazines, but I think I have a short attention span because after a few pages of whatever I take up, I simply put it back down. Music works for a time but if I'm at work, then eventually somebody's going to want to talk, so I have to press pause, and sooner or later, just turn the whole thing off.

Rubik's cube

I'm thinking of buying a Rubik's cube next knowing me, I'll just get fed up when, almost inevitably, I take forever to solve the darn thing even once.

The cause of my 'grumpitude', as I like to call it, is a mystery to me. I have no conceivable reason for being so miserable. I'm a 'glass half-empty' kind of guy for as long as I can remember but that can't be it. There is a school of thought I'm working on that says we live in a grumpy society and henceforth, by socialisation and emotional osmosis of some kind, I have become grumpy too.

Grumpitude is everywhere. Impatient persons honking their horns, even though the traffic can't go any faster or further; customers at the back of the fast-food line complaining that those at the cashier are taking too long to order; and politicians griping about the size of breakfronts, er, cabinets all add to a grumpy frame of mind.

I think we need a national day against grumpitude, a day when all of us can collectively sit down, take deep breaths and relax for at least a couple of hours, play some dominoes, have a beer or two, and just forget the negatives of life (like global warming, crime and violence and West Indies cricket team). But take too long and our bosses will start grumbling that we're wasting time (grumble, grumble. See, there I go again!)

We have to take that day because before you know it, we're all 80-plus and are wondering what we did when we were younger. Of course, we'd grumble about that too!

Grumble galore at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com