Esmiralda Euphema Stapleton. With names like that life must be a bitch! And Ergus Septimus must have got enough smashes in the back of his head to make him dizzy by now.

What were parents thinking of when they gave their children these albatrosses they call names? Only a kind of cerebral meltdown could have allowed them to come up with these names.

Some people simply refuse to use them, giving rise to situations where someone will, for example, go by the name of A. David Fraser. What the 'A' means is not usually known because it is just not used. It's out of bounds. They will drop the first name if they find it an embarrassment, and opt for the middle name or, if they had a first name like Melcita, they may shorten it for a more pleasant sounding 'Mel'.

People with dreadful names are at the receiving end of cruel jokes, but the worst thing that these people can do is to let their needlers realise that they hate the names. Mistake! It's best to grin and bear it as the saying goes, because to become defensive, trying to dodge it as if missiles are being thrown, then the names will in fact become embarrassing missiles.

So it was with great interest that we watched the swearing in of the new members of the Jamaican Cabinet on September 14 as they were invited to the stage to take the Oath of Office at King's House.

The Charles, George, Michael, Anthony, and even Curtis, were palatable. There was more than a bit of chuckle for those so monikered Augustus, Patroe and Lester but Casieta and Fitzalbert had some people in stitches. A couple of the Members of Parliament were not introduced with any middle names so we did our research and came up with Atavia, for example. Who's that?

Check out our pictures on this page and see also who is George, who is Rudolph, who is ... Oh! for goodness sake, it's just a name!

Outlook Team