Dawn Ritch, Columnist

The selection of Lisa Hanna for South East St. Ann was a master stroke.

She hasn't yet been appointed. Indeed the process has hardly begun. But already, Lisa Hanna, former Miss Jamaica and Miss World, has garnered, by my estimate as an advertising professional in real life, a minimum $40 million to $50 million worth of free advertising for the People's National Party in airtime and column inches.

And that is before she even paid a courtesy call upon Seymour 'Foggy' Mullings, grandfather of the constituency, and before her godfather was kind enough to speak up and put in writing that Ms. Hanna has two academic degrees. My conservative estimate of her monetary value to the PNP thus far was concluded before any of that transpired.

In the media as dumb blond

It seems that the media got whiff that the Prime Minister intended to appoint Lisa Hanna, and they ran with the story. For almost two weeks, Ms. Hanna was excoriated in print and electronic media as a dumb blond.

Nobody investigated to see how dumb or how blond. It turns out, she not only has a full-time job, but raises funds for the education of inner-city children, and has established scholarships for them.

She's been a busy young lady - because she's also been married, been Miss World, and has a child that she wants back. Of course, the media told the public about that from the very start. It's the rest of it that came nearly two weeks later, and not from the media but in a letter to the editor.

Maybe the press thought she was a local Paris Hilton, of whom I'm an unapologetic fan. I just hope they don't crush Paris Hilton's mind in jail, on the grounds that she is really the fairy Tinkerbell, and a frightened little girl. What's wrong with Tinkerbell? She has every right to exist in peace.

The whole thing made me remember a political development in Italy. A video porn star queen, Ilona Staller, better known as 'Cicciolina' or 'Cuddles', ran for office. She was elected to national parliament in Italy. As was to be expected, the media and the Vatican recoiled in horror that she even offered herself. But she won a seat, became a sitting member of parliament, and did a good job. During the political campaign, of course, other candidates started to get jealous of her media coverage. Some even claimed she had an unfair advantage. Her campaign slogan? 'Make life exciting.'

It is positive proof that politics is more sport than science. Woe betide those who get out their test tubes in the full light of day!

If Lisa Hanna had been a big, pot-bellied man, her selection would have passed without comment. Her crime was that she was pretty. And they lock up people for that in the United States.

Those legal grounds on which to drive Paris Hilton mad, that she was driving drunk when her licence was twice suspended, would not have been applied against any ugly or miserable non-entity. That person would have been warned or given community service, not sent to jail. For all we know, Paris Hilton drives better drunk than sober. Her crime was because she was pretty.

Pretty and busy

Ms. Hanna compounded the sin of being pretty by being a busy bee. But then, so did Paris Hilton.

When Anna Nicole Smith died of, it is now rumoured, 'drug intoxication' (all evidence pointed to natural causes), the world lost one of the greatest and most wonderful Tinkerbells of all time. Let the record show, therefore, that she left her personal affairs in excellent order. I'm only sorry that she isn't indeed buried beside Marilyn Munroe. The Bahamas should be honoured to have Anna Nicole Smith buried there, because this is despite Hugh Hefner, Playboy icon, having acquired the spot beside Marilyn for that purpose.

The cheerfulness and excitement that these people bring to life goes too much unsung. Every unhappily married or ugly woman gets vexed right away, and starts throwing rotten eggs. The men begin to groan and reach for their needle point, cancelling all plans for the evening. Now it's "We don't want any more gender argument", and "Don't bring any pretty girls either". It's a farce.

The mere mention of Lisa Hanna's name as a PNP candidate in the press brought forth a torrent of abuse from anyone who had a tongue. By so doing, they have demonstrated in spades the biases andprejudices of which Madam Prime Minister accuses them. It is, therefore, she who has drawn their tongues. Indeed, at the time of writing, Mrs. Simpson Miller has still said nothing about the matter.

Suppression of opinion poll

Another development that demonstrates the veracity of Mrs. Simpson Miller's observations of the bias and manipulation of public information is what I regard as the suppression of an opinion poll. This poll was conducted by the University of the West Indies in August last year, and published in booklet form earlier this year. It sank like a stone.

A quantitative survey was conducted by many of the members of the new Stone team; however, none of its results have appeared in any medium. It is titled 'Vol. 1 Probing Jamaica's Political Culture'.

I note, therefore, that section 3.3. 'Confidence in Societal and Political Institutions', shows Madam Prime Minister ranking sixth. That's right after and in the order of 'Families, Schools, Universities, Churches and Banks'. I also wish to point out that she scored almost the same as banks, which comes as no surprise to me.

It's on Page 27, and at the bottom of the pile of Jamaican institutions are the local government councils, with which I also concur. There are 22 institutions ranked in all, and political parties are just above local government councils. That, of course, also makes a great deal of sense to me.

What makes no sense is why I have to be the first to trot out this information, and many months later at that. This is a complete and total mystery.

Dr. Trevor Munroe had to sign off on this survey because he's the head of the department which produced it. He's a co-host on Breakfast Club, and yet said nothing. None of the researchers involved said anything either. I bet if Dr. Peter Phillips were prime minister, that information would have been out last September.

Research is a public act. I cannot see how the mere and quiet publication of a booklet can be regarded as having broken one's silence. Those who wantto know the details of the survey will have to go to the bookshop at the University of the West Indies and buy a copy.