We have been married for 20 years, and during all that time we have had a real fantastic sexual relationship. He is better in bed than any man I have ever known. Also, I love him.

But in the last six months, something has gone wrong, doc. First of all, he doesn't seem too well. He has been real tired and losing weight.

Second, he keeps giving me 'the cold shoulder treatment' in bed. Do you know what I mean, doc? Whenever I want to have sex with him and I roll over and give him a kiss, or stroke him, he just moves away from me. He turns his back on me and pretends to be asleep. Sometimes, he even pretends to snore!

We have not discussed this. But I fear that he finds my body repulsive, or that he has some other girl.

What do you think, doc? Please help me. Why is he scorning me in bed?

A: I do not think your husband is 'scorning' you. I have dealt with many cases such as this, and in nearly every one the truth has been that the husband has actually lost his nature.

I am certain that the same thing has happened here. Your poor husband has found himself unable to get an erection. Rather than talk with you about it, he is keeping this 'secret' to himself. So when you want sex, he rolls over and pretends to be asleep.

Many guys are like this. They don't want to discuss the fact that they are having real trouble with their erections, because they feel ashamed about that.

So they just turn over and go to sleep - or pretend to be asleep !

It is real obvious that what you must do now is this: insist that your man talks over this problem with you. Do not let him wriggle out of it - because it is for his own good.

Assuming that he admits that he has lost his nature, then the next thing is for him to see a doc. When he goes to consult the doc, he should take a 'specimen' of his urine with him. Why? Because the symptoms which you mention in your letter do suggest that your husband might have 'sugar'.

As you probably know, 'sugar' (that is, diabetes) quite often makes a guy lose his nature. However, whether your man has diabetes or not, it should be possible for the doc to treat him successfully - and to get him making love to you again. So, do not delay. Have that heart-to-heart chat with your husband right away.