Daviot Kelly, Staff Reporter
SUMMER AND there are so many parties to attend! How will we get the time for them all?
But for guys with a significant other, this is probably the worst time because the little miss wants to go everywhere but you'd rather have your arms free for the lovely belles you are destined to meet! Yes, the good old problem of 'carrying sand to the beach!
Simple belief is that the only hotties you meet on your night(s) out are the ones you met at the party! While this is sexist in every way possible, let's look at this rationally. Scantily clad women parading around a beach or daintily dressed dolls rolling it at all-inclusive parties are, at the least, very distracting. And that's not an indictment on men and their wandering eye (well maybe a little) , but more a compliment to the beautiful women God created. We only have two eyes and unless you walk into this party with a girl who looks like Rihanna, you're going to peek at a few honeys.
"Not at all! It's a waste of time! You're bound to meet other girls," said Michael Andrewswhen asked whether there is any justification to carrying your spoogy. Parking her in a corner of the venue and checking up on her from time to time is also not recommended!
"She going to be hitched up under your arm the whole time and you can't pass her off as your cousin," Rick Wickerman* points out.
And on the topic of whether your date looks like Rihanna (or Christina Milian, perhaps), then you're still in trouble because that means many guys will be eyeing your lovely escort! The thick-skinned among us will have no problem with that but the insanely jealous will make that party look like a scene from Mortal Kombat!
Here's the dilemma. Don't carry your girlfriend/spoogy and it's World War III before and after you get back. So how do you go to the party without getting her upset?
Lying is a recommended way out of things but not necessarily a good one. So saying you're not going to the party and then she sees you on Hype TV getting down with a hottie is going to cause a problem! Or, you get so afraid of being seen, you spend the entire time ducking anybody who might recognise you! So for a peaceful night, you should:
Make it a guy's night out. Even the most clingy of girlfriends can understand that!
Carry her to a few of them so she doesn't feel totally left out and can't complain when you feel like going to one by yourself.
If those don't work, then lie and tell her you're not feeling well and hope nobody recognises you!
Or, and please make this your last resort,
Break up with her now and get back together after the summer!
* Not their real names.
