Mel Cooke, Freelance Writer
Grandfather and Son traded 'ugly jokes' at Clemsand Enterprise's 'Cocktail and Comedy' 2006, held at Hilton Kingston Hotel, Knutsford Boulevard, New Kingston on Sunday. - PHOTOS BY WINSTON SILL / FREELANCE PHOTOGRAPHER
ON SUNDAY night, Prince Edwards did not have to finish the description of three men discussing the parts of women they love. The first said he liked a woman with a beautiful face and his friends concluded "yu is a face man". Another said he liked an uplifted, pointed chest and was duly dubbed "a titty man." Then the third said "Me love a woman wid a big ...".
There was no need to say anything more, as the laughter rose from the capacity seated audience in a small section of the ballroom at the Hilton Hotel, New Kingston. The laughter was mixed with protest, though, as Edwards left the stage. There were demands that he return, which were eventually met, as Edwards returned to close 'Cocktails and Comedy', with a more extended performance.
COCKTAIL FIRS'
Edwards' quiet, conversational approach to laughter was in contrast to the most of the rest of the performers, Tubeless being the only other quiet rib-tickler.
The audience was impatient for the start, many asking host Mas Jasper why, when, shortly after 8:00 p.m., he said showtime would be 8:30 p.m. "Cocktail firs' den de show," he said.
As promised he did return to start the show at 8:30 p.m., but when he asked "oonu belly full?" there was a collective 'no!', indicating the inadequacy of the single festival, strip of fish, mini meatball and drink.
A SIX-PACK
Tubeless used his ample frame for a lot of his jokes. "Some of you ladies say you want a man with a six-pack. Yu no have no ambition. Why settle for a six-pack when you can have the whole liquor store?" he asked, to howls of laughter.
In between Tubeless and Grandfather and Son, Jasper led the audience on a naming path, saying that a man who sells soup is 'soupy' and a cane man is 'caney'. "But what yu call a man who sell puss?" he enquired.
Grandfather and Son swapped ugly jibes ("Papa, if me did ugly like you me would a put a white bag pon my face an mark it 'closed for reconstruction'"), going at it extensively as the audience got quieter, before Grandfather informed that he told a lady to email him some 'dosobygussering'. "If it have any virus de computer pick it up before it reach me," he said, the tempo picking up once more.
ROMANTIC POETRY
The Nomads, two young men, started with romantic poetry ("I'm in love with a girl, she worth more than diamonds and pearl"), before the other picked up with an unaccredited delivery of Joan Andrea Hutchinson's take on Jamaicans trying to take over hell.
From dancing to Stand By Me flipping an oversized stuffed bottom to Bun Him, as well as intermittent lifts of the skirt hem to expose extreme 'possibles', Granny was a resounding hit with the audience, which howled as she flipped off wig after wig and threw them on the ground in obeying Black-Er's command.
Edward's first stint came before Apache Chief and Sarge, the former imitating Reneto Adams, P.J. Patterson and singing like Buju Banton, Lady Saw and Zebra, to the delight of the audience. However, Apache's take on cricket as a slack game was nearly a carbon copy of Lemon's critique of the sport of gentlemen, pads, balls, slips and jukking umpires.
Prince Edwards returned to close 'Cocktails and Comedy' before midnight.
