Shelly-Ann Thompson, Freelance Writer
WHILE SOME employers squabble over having to increase already meagre wages to employees many domestic helpers have workloads that include taking care of children. Assisting their employers children with homework, preparing them for school, and reading them bed-time stories are some of the duties thay have to do. Many of these children, even grow up calling for their nannies or helpers first when they need emotional support.
Being a mother for other children is good but what about the children of helpers? Who takes care of them while their mothers are nurturing others?
Jean Patterson, 47, has three children the youngest of whom is 18 years old. She became a household helper at age 19 and told Flair it is a difficult task to rear children while being a domestic worker. The single mother remembers many times when her children cried for her, asking why mommy was hardly at home. "As a helper you don't have any time for your children. The time is taken up in travel to and from work."
AT THE NURSERY
When her children were younger she used to leave them at a nursery during workdays. Patterson would pick them up from the nursery late at nights. "Most times I would leave work at 7:00 p.m. and collect the children at 8:00 p.m. go home and cook but by the time the food is ready they are fast asleep," she recalled.
FIRED FOR BEING LATE
Another negative factor she faced while being a household helper and rearing her children was that of inconsiderate employers. "Many of them don't think of you and your children all they care about are their children," she said. While Patterson noted that not all of her past employers were thoughtless, she faced difficult times. One instance is being fired because she took a half-day off to take her daughter to the health clinic. "I called to let her know that I was going to be late but because at the clinic you don't get through on time I didn't reach work until 12:00 p.m. When I reached she told me that I could go back home.
NEIGHBOUR'S ASSISTANCE
Reaching home late from work she paid a neighbour to assist the children with homework. Today, her daughter is a hairdresser and salon owner; one son does tiling and the other is into farming.
Patterson missed being present at her children's school functions such as parent teachers' meetings. "If it was being held on a week day I couldn't go. I had to send a relative, like a cousin, instead."
Joan Steer, 38, also a domestic helper, is trying to do for her 12 year-old son what she couldn't while her other son, 21, was growing up. While rearing her first son, she said it was also very stressful. The earliest she leaves work is 6:00 p.m. "Sometimes I reach home at 10:00 in the nights. I work for a banker and she reaches home very late so I have to stay with her children until she comes," said Miss Steer.
Her son has his own house key and after school he lets himself in, staying with others who live in the yard until she comes home. Before heading off to work she cooks his dinner and puts it in the refrigerator. Now he goes home and microwaves his dinner. "When he was younger I asked someone to warm it up for him.
Her son is preparing for his GSAT exams in March and it hurts her that she is hardly present to assist with homework.
"To assist while at work I will call him and ask how he's managing. I also ask a neighbour's child who goes to high school to help him out."
'I BLAME MYSELF'
To her it's like a cycle rearing her child like she did before with her first son. "I blame myself a lot for that (her older son not being much of an achiever) I gave him all the extra lessons and he still didn't do well. But I'm still proud because he could be behind bars. But he is working and going to school in the United States."
However, she stresses the importance of quality time to her younger son. "I tell him that it's not the amount of time I spend with you but what I do with the time I spend with you," said Miss Steer. If she works on the weekends he is at work with her after his extra lessons. On Sundays he is with her at church, and they cook together. "I use Sundays for family time, nothing else. I let him assist when I'm cooking and that's how we get to talk a lot."
By spending quality time with her son and relating to him she believes that this will prevent him from going down the wrong path or doing something foolish when she is not around.
"I tell him that when a child's mother is a helper, there is nothing more pleasing than to see her child come out to something real good," said Miss Steer who takes care of a family of four.
