Nashauna Drummond, Staff Reporter
The rapist might try to gain some advantage by ripping at your clothes. = FILE
Last week we began our two-part feature on the long-lasting effects of rape on the life of victims. This week we continue our story of how the victims have healed; how lives have been changed and highlight the path to recovery.
JANE
After being raped at the age of 13 by someone she knew and trusted, Jane became very afraid. "It made me very afraid of things: of relationships and intimacy. There were things I could have done more confidently, sometimes I felt the world was looking at me and they were saying I was not a strong person."
Relief came when I began to talk about it. It made me realise that I was not alone. I wrote poetry that was an outlet. It's a process and I don't think I could ever be over it but I don't want it to control me but to channel it to help other people."
Jane is currently part of a support group that meets twice a week and she is currently training to become a rape crisis counsellor. She is also working on her thesis for her masters degree focusing on increased reporting in rape cases encouraging the victims to speak to someone about it.
"I believe victims don't report it a lot of times because it's too hard to prove. They (justice system in Jamaica) make it too hard on the victims to prove that they were an outstanding citizen. The victim is put on trial. There is not enough sensitivity and responsibility as a society, we should be more supportive."
20 YEARS LATER
After 20 years Jane feels she is finally healing. "I'm healed, I'm good and I've conquered my fears and I understand that it's not my fault. That empowers me to teach my children. If you don't deal with it, it's going to haunt you. When you hold it in, you damage yourself more."
"People were going to look at the big picture and not the violation. They are going to say why did you go to his house etc. It took me 15 years to come out of that blame game. Now I see life in a healthy manner. All the energy you put into hating this person hurts you more. For my own peace of mind, I just move on and try to help others. However, as a society we need to hold people responsible and accountable and until we do that women are going to suffer."
"The view among some women is that rape happens to weak women but it can happen to any of us."
THE LAW
By Jamaican law rape is punishable by life imprisonment. For attempted rape, the accused gets a period not exceeding 10 years.
However, many victims feel that the offender never receives full punishment under law, while the victims carry the scars for the rest of their lives.
ENCOURAGING A CYCLE
The degradation of a victim's life doesn't end with the act. Margaretattributes her stay in an abusive marriage to a childhood of sexual abuse. As a child her father constantly molested her. The eldest of seven children, her father took the opportunity whenever her mother left the house.
In her early teens her family moved from England to Canada. She moved out of her parents' house when she turned 16. It was eventually revealed that he had molested her other five sisters. This tore the family apart and the sisters bonded together to press charges. He died from lung cancer before the case could go to court.
BAD CHOICES
She noted that being out on her own caused her to make a lot of bad choices in life. She married a man who constantly abused her. "The abuse started with just a slap across the face when he had a bad day at work and I wasn't emphatic enough." Then he began tearing out fists full of hair by the roots as he dragged her around resulting in black eyes and many broken bones.
"At work I was a very successful executive earning more than my husband. But at home I was powerless. I stayed in a shelter once after police delivered me from one of my many beatings but I ended up going back.
It was when my father died that I finally found the courage to leave my abusive husband. It was on his deathbed that my father apologised to me for what he had done."
HEALING
Psychologist and clinical hypnotherapist Dr. Veronica Salter says healing is possible but it takes a very long time and the victims will never forget.
Dr. Salter who has been working with rape victims for over 20 years, notes that the healing process begins when the victims realise and accept that it was not their fault.
"It is possible to heal but they will never forget. But first they need to get past feeling responsible as they feel guilt and shame and have to rebuild their self-esteem and face reality."
She notes that some victims remain in denial for many years as they completely block it out as a means of protecting themselves. She notes that in the very first few weeks, the victim will feel a variety of emotions. These include:
A sense of loss because they have lost something (in the case of incest they have lost their childhood).
Denial: it wasn't really me it didn't happen it was a dream.
Anger: Anger at God, why did He allow this to happen to me, anger at themselves. They have to grieve and express their anger. If anger is left inside it can affect their physical body as they may develop high blood pressure or other stress related symptoms.
Guilt, sadness and grieving
Absolute numbness inside.
She notes that these emotions may appear in any order; some are felt more than others and the healing process is a renewal and a behavioural change. She notes that they may develop anti-social behaviour (become completely withdrawn or be very promiscuous).
Names of all the victims have been changed to protect their identity.
