Full stomachs, empty hearts

- File

This family dines in the traditional way. We can impart good morals and values at the table.

NAME BRAND clothes. The latest hair do. Money to spend. For our barrel children there may be no material need. But, under their Hilfiger tags beats an hunger for love.

The concept that we have to run somewhere else to work has destroyed our family life, states Pat Eves.

"The 'farin' mentality is still very much a part of the Jamaican psyche, but since the recent terrorist attacks on the United States, people are being linked with their countries of origin. They have to remember that there is no place like home and stay here and make things right.

"We don't know who we are as a nation." She adds that at age 39 people usually begin a process of self-examination and as a country of that age we need to begin that process. Jamaicans need to find out what they want for their children and what they want for themselves.

In this there is a "need to revisit our national emblems and national pledge ­ airplay has to be given to that more than normal." The motto has to read ­ Out Of Many One (progressive) People. People need to know where they are from and remember their roots. And the questions arise:

Why can't we work hard in our own country? What is going to wake us up as a nation?

Ms Eves says, "It can't be just the number of our youngsters who are dying; it can't be talk about what needs to change; probably it is not going to be America and other places that 'support' us relinquishing us as a dependent nation'; it might just be another Marcus Garvey or a group of persons from all walks of life ­ with strong moral courage and the personal integrity who do not look for selfish gains, who respect the works of forefathers and understand that this is our nation under God."

Giving to receive

Reverend Dr. Roslyn Douglas, says she has "had occasion when I have spoken to children and they reveal things to me that are frightening ­ about their parents. Sometimes the problems at home cause the children to react at school. Many of them are lacking in adult guidance."

"Parents/adults are filled with frustration from husband, partner, financial problems and other problems and the single-parent phenomenon is the frustrated thing," she explains. "Another thing that causes frustration is that they want to live above their means."

She further states that some children these days are not taught to be satisfied with what their parents can afford and while parents in the '60s went to the extreme for their children, it was so they could get a good education. "Many parents do not see the importance of school." Such an institution plays a vital role in the moulding and the development of children. When parents make sacrifices to give their children the latest fashion and the most expensive things, they turn to gangs and drugs when the parents cannot afford to anymore. She says the sad thing was that some parents condone this type of behaviour and are even into taking their (the children) drug and blood money. "They need to say 'We cannot live like this.' The get-rich-quick mentality and the keeping up with the Joneses have got to stop," she explains.

There is a genuine fear of the law and of lawmen. She said a boy of about seven was terrified in one of the sessions where she brought in a policeman to speak to them. He said he was afraid, but his explanation was that his father sold ganja and he runs when he sees the police therefore he was afraid as well.

With the popularity of cable, free trade, travel, globalisation she says, "I believe that we are taking on too much of the North American influences and we are taking the negative ones. Your attitude can take you to altitude or destitute. It is not everything that we see we should want to adopt ­ we should be selective."

Fellowship and unity in the family is necessary for the cultivation of good values. "You talk together, eat together and share together ­ sharing is a part of loving ­ you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. And when you really love you want to fellowship. God loves and he gave Jesus Christ."